BEWARE THE FURIES:

A MINI PLAY ON GREEK THEMES

Roy B. Lacoursiere

For RALLY FOR REASON,

Kansas State Capital, Dec. 7, 2002, 10:30 am.

               CHARACTERS: In order of appearance:

                             AGABUSHNON, the leader of the people.

                             ERUDITEES, learned advisors to the leader, played by

                                      a female and a male arm in arm who read alternate couplets.

                             CHORUS, people of the land, offstage (that is, the audience).

                             MOTHERNON, Agabushnon’s mother.

                             FATHERNON, Agabushnon’s father.

                             EVIL-ONE, (who never appears on stage).

          SETTING: A public gathering place in the land’s capital.

          TIME: Always.

Registered with Writers Guild of America West, #900550.

 PROLOGUE

        With this prologue I want to say

        What it is that’s in this play.

        Long ago when our ancestors dear,

        Wanted to tell about misery and cheer,

        With neither television nor papers

        Theater they used for tragedies and capers.

        Common stories citizens often did swallow,

        In the glory and gore, they could wallow.

        Greek army leader, Agamemnon, everyone knew;

        And into our play his relative flew.

        And parents two are another of the keys,

        Along with trusty advisors, Eruditees.

        In this theater the chorus helps with the plot,

       And for you, citizen-audience, Chorus is your lot.

       Please say loudly your lines when directed,

       Not quietly as if with laryngitis you’re infected.

       The sky is clear, we don’t have a storm,

       Altogether now, let’s perform.

(The action opens with AGABUSHNON on stage, looking troubled.)

AGABUSHNON

        The people made me, Agabushnon, their leader,

        At a time they’re needy, think I’m their feeder.

        Evil attacked and killed us,

        I’m so angry I could cuss.

        A war on terror we got started,

        From our efforts the terrorists should have smarted.

        Yet for new attacks they make much threat,

        From terrorism, we’re not safe yet.

        Where all the terrorists are I sure wish I knew,

        There has to be something more I can do.

        Countless advisors pitch me this and that,

        But it’s only me who gets up to bat.

        An ancient evil doer tried to kill my father

        Now I’m the leader and it’s me he may want to slaughter.

        Advisors tell me I should attack him now,

        It’s a better image than on a horse chasing a cow.

        But what to do, what to do, this job isn’t easy,

        To be honest, it makes my guts queasy.

        If we attack someone first I’ll look resolute;

       When young I was sometimes a little dissolute.

       But an attack may injure some of our people,

       If many die they could knock me off my steeple.

       If only there was an easy solution,

       To give terrorism final resolution.

       Mother and father where are you today,

       When I was young you could hide me away.

       Can you protect me now from painful decision

       About which there’s no easy precision.

(Enter ERUDITEES, cheerfully, but wringing their hands, one hand of each in the other’s one hand.)

(AGABUSHNON continues.)

      Hello my trusty, faithful advisors,

      Listening to you, my poor brain tires.

ERUDITEES

      Good day dear leader in a time of crisis,

      We have a plan so terror we might lysis.

      We pursued terror around the world,

      But it won’t go away, can’t find the mold.

      But we can pursue some Satanic creature,

      For a new policy, that will be the main feature.

      Your father fought Evil-One but left him alive,

      Despite plans to kill your father he did contrive.

      If you get Evil-One, father’s good graces you’ll buy;

      Not always have you been the apple of his eye.

      And chasing Evil-One, you’ll look decisive,

      Everyone will forget the terrorism crisis.

      A few of our people may die in such a war,

      But for heaven’s sake, we’ve been there before.

      We’ll tell the scribes it’s only loss of an “asset,”

      About which no one should be too up-set.

      The people elected you, they want to help,

      And there will always be some who yelp.

CHORUS  1

       Dear leader don’t get us into a war,

       Heaven knows we’ve been there before.

(Enter MOTHERNON.)

AGABUSHNON

        Mothernon good to see you,

        I’m stirred up like an ol’ stew.

MOTHERNON

        My dear son you do look worried,

        In these times to your side I scurried.

        Terrorists have attacked our shores,

        From within they violated our mores.

       We fear travelling our well-used routes,

       Evil voyagers may have bombs in their boots.

       Our respected buildings are no longer safe,

       We’re made scared like a cowering waif.

       Dear son I see you worried so,

       It must be hard to know just how to go.

       I hear you’re concerned about old Evil-One,

       Who after father’s rein thought his worries done.

      He frets to see Fathernon’s son on the throne,

      And maybe thinks to depose you with a drone.

      But a good mother has to consider all her kin,

      Don’t chase an enemy unless ‘gainst us he badly sin.

CHORUS  2

        War is a weapon of mass destruction,

        It makes a mess for re-construction.

MOTHERNON

       Yes dear son your heart looks troubled,

        But wrong action could make worries doubled.

        Unnecessary war kills many a daughter and son,

        And once started, the carnage will be only begun.

CHORUS  3

       Don’t take us off to another war,

       We’ve been there too often before.

(Enter FATHERNON, matter-of-factly.)

MOTHERNON

       Here’s Fathernon, he’ll have words of cheer,

       Come son, give him your ear.

FATHERNON

       Hello son, I came to pay you a visit,

       It’s a time when we can’t help but fidget.

       The soothsayers say you are planning war,

       I wanted to talk with you before.

       Mothernon told me you worry about Evil-One,

       And wonder with him, what will become.

       One time on my life he had a plan,

       But it wasn’t serious, didn’t injure one man.

       If you attack him deaths you will ensure,

       But stopping terrorism we can’t be sure.

       Perhaps your father you want to defend,

       But will that help our people get the right end?

       An attack on Evil-One will get him sympathy,

       And for many your name will live in infamy.

       Son, please think much before such a war,

       Of a terrifying mess, it could cause more.

       Gods in heaven won’t do our bidding,

       If they’re there, I think they’re just sitting.

       But the best choices we hope you make,

       And into worse trouble, us you won’t take.

FATHERNON and MOTHERNON (together):

         Bye son, we’re off to see the grandchildren,

         Terrors and furies in them are not hidden.

         We want to show them love while we can,

         Aging lives you know have a finite span.                             (Exit both.)

CHORUS  4

        Dear leader don’t take us off to war,

        Instead be sure to protect our shore.

ERUDITEES

      Parents just fret, you know how they are,

      From your duty, they can take you too far.

      Fathernon was our leader but is no longer,

      And our advise won’t make you a war monger.

      A quick, decisive action is all it will take,

      To “regime change” Evil-One for everyone’s sake.

      At times such changes haven’t work out well,

      But weakies who criticize, can just go to hell.

      The rest of the terrorists are hard to find,

      And Evil-One’s land is an oil gold mine.

      Dear leader show you have what it takes,

      Be like the lady who said, “Let them eat cakes.”

      It’s you up to bat, take the big swing,

      Don’t fret what the consequences may bring.                 (Exit.)

AGABUSHNON (Only he remains on stage, looking pensive and troubled.)

      If only there was an easy solution,

      To give terrorism final resolution.

CHORUS  5

      Don’t sacrifice our children for distant war,

      We’ve been there too often before.

      Protect the shores here on our land,

      Let’s stick together like one family band.

(Exit AGABUSHNON.)

                     THE END